Last night right after dinner as my Princess was just about to begin another session of the computer game she is playing while I watch, Bioshock Infinite, I went into the kitchen to quickly grab a chocolate covered granola bar for dessert but as I ran back into the computer room my Princess asked accusingly “What is that?” I am usually not questioned anywhere in such an aggressive manner, it was surprising to me. I asked “Whaaa?” as I showed her the unopened bar. She said “Put it away.”
She had to be kidding, or maybe I was just confused, so I said “What do you mean?” She pointed outside of the room and repeated “Put it away now.” She didn’t raise her voice but I could clearly sense the command in her manner not to mention the very clear instruction. I obeyed, of course, and when I returned to the room empty-handed I sat down and could just feel the unspoken pleasure in my Princess’ manner as she began playing the computer game.
I felt figuratively stepped on. And hours later when she verbally gloated over me from that display of her authority, I felt stepped on again. Is that fair to make me feel so under her thumb??
My Princess wields her authority over me every day, and every day I do things which I would not do if I were not her sub or slave. But this was a very gratuitous display of her authority with no reason other than because she can.
And of course that is why I enjoyed it. (You knew that already, though, my complaining above didn’t fool you!)
Actually, my Princess does other things just because she can but it’s usually under the seeming pretense of being convenient for her, such as sometimes not bringing her water cup with her from the other room so that I have to lower the reclining chair to get up and fetch it when she enters the room, and a bunch of other things like that. Princess is a very apt title, and I say that with respect of course.
A half hour later as my Princess was still playing the computer game I asked if I could at least eat some grapes but she said no. As an olive branch, she told me to go get three pieces of raw cauliflower but yeccch I would rather have not had anything. I knew that she enjoyed the sour look on my face as I chewed and swallowed the cauliflower so I didn’t try to hide it. She cooed “Doesn’t that taste good?” but she and I both knew the answer was no.
A bit later in the evening after we had taken our neighborhood walk, as usual my face which is cool from the outside air was used to cool off the soles of her warm bare feet (where I am meant to be!). And then once she was done using my face as a footrest she told me to lie on the bed on my back as she restrained me spread-eagled. Then she blindfolded me. Uh oh.
That’s about as vulnerable a feeling as a guy can get, that position practically calls attention to one part of my body. I was tense but held back on my whimpering. See, I was strong! lol Until I heard my Princess plug in the electric cord, and then I begged. As I’ve said I think many times on this blog, there is no play-acting or “stop, don’t, stop, don’t stop, don’t stop” or anything like that, it legit scares me because I know that I will not enjoy the pain. I am aware at all times that I love it but the immediate emotion is that I do not enjoy it and I will not enjoy it as it occurs. (That said, it bares repeating that I am aware at all times that I love love love it.) Confused much? lol
I asked my Princess to be careful because my knees might hit her as I struggle and it was a good warning because I struggled a whole lot, trying to move my groin away from the painful zzzzzapzzzapzzzzzzap of the neon wand right in my sensitive spots. Back and forth I was able to struggle wildly so that the individual zzzzaps were not too lengthy.
My Princess stopped after a short time and then wrapped my package a few times with a rope, in a way I could not quite determine due to my blindfold, and she also wrapped the rope individually around each my toes a couple of times, so that when I wiggled my toes it also wiggled my groin, which made her laugh so I did that several times. However, when I heard the zzzz sound of the neon wand again I knew that my laughing would end and I figured out that the rope did not completely cover my groin as I had hoped. The next thing I felt was a zzzap right on the end followed by a giggle, zzzzap giggle, zzzzap giggle, zzzzap giggle. I think that a big part of her giggling are my strange-sounding reactions which are not just “ow” but range from a sharp intake of breath through my teeth, gurgling, laughing, yelling, begging, and making other unintelligible sounds. I certainly do not plan the sounds I make and I don’t think about them until they occur.
After she had enough of this my Princess gave me calming words to let me know that it was over and I could relax, because she can tell how tense I am even when the pain stops. She transitioned to impact using my belt on me, whipping both parts of my package lightly with just the end of the belt in addition to whacking my thighs, soles, and chest (I am pretty sure that she aims at the nipples which makes me give a louder yelp). She even used the end of the belt to slap my face on my right cheek over and over and over. It hurt but I knew that it was just a stinging pain and not with any force to break my jaw or anything close to that but it hurt and it felt wrong. She was not laughing but she was making some sort of sounds of enjoyment which I can’t remember now. I do remember thinking “This is not in the BDSM manual! Not fair!” as I sometimes say out loud to her in joking but I didn’t dare talk or move my face with that damn belt slapping my face and I had to just take the pain and indignity. She then whipped my left cheek over and over with the belt and it just felt so wrong that I began to cry.
Sometimes on FetLife there are threads about how to get a sub/masochist to cry and I think for me it is the combination of pain which keeps going to a point past when I feel like an abused victim along with some sort of humiliation. My Princess could not detect my crying since I was wearing a blindfold and she stopped right when it started, but I said something like “Thank you, Princess” in gratitude for her stopping the pain and I’m sure she heard my voice crack.
Whip me, electrocute my genitals, humiliate me, but please don’t take away my cand..granola bar! waaaa.
Evening addendum: I wrote the above during the day today.
My Princess is out to see a friend for an hour tonight and guess what food item, if any, I have in my hand right now for dessert? She didn’t give me any instructions on that tonight. Answer below.
While my Princess and I were preparing dinner I asked if there were any green onions but those were used in last night’s meal so she said “No but there is cauliflower.” She had to just rub it in, didn’t she? I almost ran crying back to my computer to blog about it, but I waited until the tears went away. (I’m just joking about the crying part.)
I see the look on her face sometimes when she does random acts of meanness to me, wondering if she can get away with it. Well, yeah you can!!! 🙂 The only consequences are that she might read me whining about it on here lol.
Okay so I’m a good boy and have cauliflower in my hand now, right? Wrong! I have a granola bar in my hand right now, so there!!
But damn I feel compelled to return it back to the shelf and get some cauliflower. I’m only going to eat one piece, though! (wow ain’t I bratty?)
Damn that tastes awful!