April 22, 2013 – Attacked

I’m not sure what got into my Princess this past Saturday.  I was playing an online game which I had scheduled with a friend until noon while for most of that time she was outside doing whatever gardening she does in our back yard, and once I was done with the game I went into the kitchen to think about what I wanted for lunch.  I filled my Princess’ water cup and brought in back into the room with her computer and asked if she would like anything else, when she stood up and grabbed me.

My Princess doesn’t usually physically grab me, and when she does it is almost always for some sort of torture and almost always she grabs me by my you-know-what and pulls me along (resistance is futile!).  But it was lunch time and she knows how I get when I’m hungry so I figured that it wouldn’t be for torture.

I was wrong.  To my surprise she aggressivly put the hood on my head and had me lie face down on the bed to be restrained spread eagled.  Of course I would rather go through this than go through anything, even eating food, so I wasn’t complaining but she commented that a bit of food deprivation would be on the menu today just because she knows me so well that food would be on my mind.  Fortunately, even though she was more hungry with sadism than usual, she did not overly ramp up the force behind the blows, although she did quickly vary the implements she used on me.

The first thing I felt was that damn hard wooden paddle, but she warmed me up with quick and light taps which were only slightly painful at first.  She went into our bedroom closet to retrieve more toys and I felt I think the crop and a thick wooden gardening stick which she no longer uses outside, with all 3 toys whacked against my behind; my upper back (crop and stick only), upper arms (crop and stick), thighs, calves, and soles of my feet (crop and stick).  Question:  do others who submit to sadists have to suffer being hit in all sorts of places?  Unfair!  waaaa  With the hood on I didn’t know where the next blow would fall or with what implement.  I then heard her retrieve the belt so I knew I was in for a painful stinging lashing, but she mixed it in with the other implements rather than spending time focusing on the belt as she sometimes does.

At one point I received a break from the impact as I heard her power on the neon wand.  I took some breaths (I have been practicing breathing deeply and regularly during torture and it helps me withstand the pain, since I almost never get any rush of endorphins) in relief that the type of pain would be changing, but the first zap I felt was painful on my sensitive inner thigh and then she zapped my balls which were not tucked too far under me for her to reach.  Damn that hurts!!  It was not super-tight bondage and I think I kicked her slightly in reaction, so she sat up on the bed and held my legs down with her legs as she continued her evil ways.  This is where I started begging for mercy.

It wasn’t a super long session because my Princess had more plans which involved sexual service.

Anywho, that morning I think that she had wanted to play as Catwoman in the Batman computer game we have been playing lately, but forgot that I was meeting someone for an online game that morning already.  So once I was done with my game she pounced!  As they say in the computer game, “Look out, it’s the cat!”

Last night she did something for the first time.  She guided me to stand next to her and she put her foot up on a chair in front of her.  My thoughts raced towards an over-the-knee spanking but that’s because my thoughts race towards BDSM a lot.  I had justification, though, because she seemed to be in her aggressive state (which I love the best out of her states!), and sure enough she grabbed the hair on the top of my head and bent me over her knee.  We had never been in that position before with her holding me over her knee while we were standing.  Is it any surprise to read that I enjoyed it a whole lot?

She spanked my behind with her hand somewhat hard, over and over and over and over.  I don’t know how it is for others but when I’m bent over I have a somewhat bony behind and I feared more for my Princess’ pain than my own.  The slaps were very loud but the pain was moderate at most.  On the other hand, if my Princess uses a hard paddle on my bent over behind I worry about the skin being so close to the bone that it might not be all that safe.

Yesterday my Princess was sewing something and as I passed by I noticed the she had removed the shoe from her foot which was pumping on the pedal.  I recently wrote an article of male submission about foot fetish which will be posted on The Submissive Guide in a few days, and while I listed a bunch of different activities and fetishes-within-the-fetish such as trampling, forced foot worship, and other activities, I forgot to mention about those who really enjoy seeing a foot on a car’s accelerator or brake pedal.  That’s not really my thing because if a foot is on a car’s pedal then it is far away from my face but I have seen a good number of pictures from those who enjoy the dynamic of a foot pumping on a pedal (on a car’s dashboard or dangling out of a car window are also popular themes).  As I passed by my Princess I got down on the floor and asked her to keep pumping, then I kissed her bare foot, letting her know about the pumping pedal foot fetish as I said “Woohoo!”

I am going to miss us playing that Batman game when we are done, which will be very soon since we are running out of torture victims to rescue (or to listen to for a minute before rescuing, I just love how the bad guys taunt the male victims “Oh are you going to cry like a baby?” and then how wimpy the victims sound when they do cry and yell; they sound like me!).  Our next game will be Tomb Raider with Lara Croft but this one has Lara as more of a victim trying to escape a lot of tough situations, rather than being in control as Batman and Catwoman are.  Hmmmm, maybe the Tomb Raider game will influence my Princess and soon she will let me be the Master??  Ha!!

Ha!!!!!!!

Apr 19, 2013 – Bioshock Infinite

This entry, as a first for me, is not much about BDSM at all (except the last paragraph).  And I don’t go into any spoilers about the game.

I play a lot of computer games, mostly story-based “western” role-playing games such as Bioware and D&D games (I used to play tabletop D&D in the 1970s), and I also play many of the big-ticket adventure or action games such as Assassin’s Creed and the latest Tomb Raider.  Pretty much my favorite game of all time is Bioshock (the first one) from mid-2007, that was like entering a whole new and weird world with plenty of immersion into its atmosphere, and the storyline still rolls around in my head from time to time.  Bioshock 2 was okay but nothing special, because it was created by a different developer.

Bioshock Infinite received about as much hype as most any other video game evarrr, which is fine from my standpoint, since the more popular this type of unusual and fun game is the more likely that others will be made which means more future fun for me.  I was looking forward to Bioshock Infinite and once it was released a week or two ago I stayed away from spoilers and reviews.

As I began playing it, something seemed sort of off.  I wasn’t enjoying it nearly as much as I expected, and not as much as other recent games I had been playing.  The game had the main character go from one location to the next in a very linear fashion instead of allowing “open world” freedom to go wherever I wanted, and the gameplay didn’t vary throughout the game.  But wait, that’s how Bioshock 1 was, a mostly linear story-based shooter.  What’s my problem?

The problem is that since 2007, big ticket computer games have advanced in the variety of gameplay, learning from other games as they go.  In games such as Call of Duty (which I only mildly enjoy), Assassin’s Creed, and Batman Arkham Asylum and Arkham City … interrupting myself for tangent time!

The two Batman Arkham games are great.  There is plenty of torture!  Almost throughout both games there is someone or a group of people in the game being tortured and the player as Batman needs to rescue them.  But of course I take my time rescuing them!  Also, in the first of the two games there are plenty of barefoot guys beating people up (another plus in my book!).

After I play a good game my Princess plays it as I watch and provide helpful advice.  The Batman games are particularly enjoyable because of the witty banter within the game as the torturers enjoy their work (and readers of this blog probably know by now that being tortured by a sadist having fun is my biggest BDSM kink), so while my Princess plays I just sit back and enjoy the show.  Often when someone is under the not-so-tender care of one of the game’s many sadists I say to my Princess “Please do that to me!”  It’s the one time I risk “topping from the bottom” lol.  On top of the issue of torture, though, the Batman Arkham games are great games regardless of that.

Anywho, in many big ticket games nowadays there is variety of gameplay:  shooting, stealth, climbing/jumping, driving, puzzles, etc.  That didn’t used to be the standard case over, say, 5 years ago although there were still games which combined two or three genres, but nowadays it’s much more common to have a variety of gameplay types within a game.  And I’ve become accustomed to it, spoiled even.

Bioshock Infinite is pretty much solely a shooter, though, with just some bit of I guess “driving” though that’s a loose interpretation of the rail system in the game.  Just as in Bioshock 1, Infinite has a whole lot of interesting and strange storyline twists but the gameplay is rather monotonous and in a linear environment.  The storyline and atmosphere are the stars of the show in my view.

As I was playing it, though, I think I missed out on much of the ambience.  I was so busy trying to accomplish the tasks in front of me and also to pick up loose loot within the game, that I didn’t stop and smell the flowers.  It’s not that I rushed through the game, but so much is happening all at once that I think I missed a lot of it.  Once it ended and I began reading internet commentary and reviews (and there is plenty of commentary considering the very strange and complex storyline and ending), I realized that there was much more to the game than what I had experienced.  I didn’t miss any of it but I guess I didn’t really focus on what I should have focused on which is the storyline.

I read one commentary that Infinite should have an auto-loot system so that we players aren’t spending literally hours just finding loot.  Finding loot is a somewhat fun part of games but it can be monotonous and in Infinite it did get very repetitive and not all that rewarding.  Auto-loot would have been great, in my view, because then I could have spent much more of my attention on everything else going on around me instead of finding the next crate of loot.

I think that when my Princess plays Infinite I might encourage her to just skip opening many of the containers of loot, in the hopes that she can enjoy the storyline and game atmosphere more.  I know that as I watch my Princess play Infinite I will pay much more attention to the storyline and atmosphere.  Also, even had I paid more attention to the storyline it still would have confused me just as much, it is very complex, and even after watching the long non-interactive ending I had to go onto the internet to gain an understanding of what just happened so I might try to provide bits of timely storyline information to my Princess as she plays it.

In the meantime, though, my Princess is still finishing up Batman Arkham City and she has a few more victims to save from Riddler’s torture.  Woohoo!!

Okay, I can’t help but write something about BDSM (no, computer game torture is not BDSM because the victims do not consent!).  My Princess and I were recently at a family get-together where I had to sit on a stone step for a couple of group photos to be taken.  When we go out, my Princess chooses what I wear (she did that even before D/s entered our lives) and the crème-colored pants I wore were a bit dirty from my sitting on the step so she started brushing off my behind.  Well, she couldn’t help herself and the brushing very quickly became a spanking and she said that it would take her some time to get the dirt off.  One of her relatives said “You two get a room!”  My Princess spanked me in public!!  Double-woohoo!!

Apr 8, 2013 — Compliments

Compliments are an interesting subject to me.  I am all for them, of course, and enjoy giving more than receiving because I enjoy making nice people feel good.  That is especially true of my Princess, and we both compliment and thank each other frequently.

Receiving a compliment is not always easy, though, and I think that can be particularly true for some subs.  It greatly depends upon the individual (as with everything!) but I get the impression that some subs are embarrassed at receiving a compliment when they are doing what they feel they should be doing.

In my career I learned in my 20s how to receive a compliment, which is to accept it in the spirit it was intended.  Unless it’s a backhanded or sarcastic compliment (I am lucky not to be around people like that, unless it’s just joking), compliments are usually to make the recipient feel good and/or to give the recipient feedback.

Where I sometimes stumble is in understanding the difference between the two.  I like receiving feedback so that I can know whether or not to adjust what I am doing.  For example, with no feedback I do not know whether or not I have been adding the right amount of instant flakes to my Princess’ morning coffee but she is very good at giving feedback so I infer that the amount is correct.  I only mention that as an example because she typically does provide me plenty of positive feedback, so it was difficult for me to find an example in which that is not the case.

To me the best compliment, though, is when it is not intended and when it is only a simple statement.  When that occurs, I am not confused about whether it’s being said to make me feel good or to provide feedback, it must be the latter since it was not intended as a compliment.

A few nights ago my Princess was being somewhat demanding, go get this, do that, get on the floor, etc., some of which was useful service and some of which was just exerting her authority over me.  That’s not unusual, she goes through flurries of being very demanding like that, reveling in her authority over me.

After a flurry of demands my Princess started laughing a bit.  I asked what was going on and she said, with some wonder in her voice pointing out a strange observation, something like “Most husbands hate when a wife is demanding or cruel, but you thrive on it!”

Yes!!!

Thrive is a good word.  I can’t say that being a henpecked husband is a primary kink for me, but I love the enjoyment she gets out of it and I admit that I enjoy it, and I thrive on it.  And even though the comment was just meant as an observation of how strange I am (meant in a loving way), I took it as a compliment because she enjoys it.

Something which is not a compliment is that damn belt whacking against the entire back of my body over and over.  Geez that hurts.  It feels so wrong when she uses the homemade yoke or spreader bar to affix my wrists in a spread T position, has me lie on the bed face down with my feet hanging over the edge, and just rips my flesh off with that belt.  There’s blood dripping all over the sheets and … no no, that’s a lie, it just feels like that, but there’s never any blood or even marks which last more than several minutes.  But it hurts!  I yell, and last night I was even screaming into the bed covers.

At one point she was just tapping on my behind with the belt, finally allowing me to catch my breath.  But she kept tapping the same spot and increasing the force, and that hurt just as much as the stronger force blows.  Fortunately, all of my squirming to try to get away from the blows, unsuccessfully, made her laugh so that gave me some rest from the rain of pain.  Lately, she has allowed my ankles free so that she can see my behind squirming and reacting with each whack.

The thing is, I am in pain pretty much with the first blow and so the yelling starts almost right away.  Last night’s scene lasted probably 10 minutes before my Princess stopped and released me from the restraints, but I felt like I had gone through hell.

And as a reminder, the more I whine/complain (as in the last several paragraphs) the more that means I enjoyed it.  Hurting bad = oh so good!