May 25, 2012 — SubmissiveGuide blog hop challenge

Thank you to lunaKM for this topic.  http://www.submissiveguide.com.

Submissive Challenge #8

Characteristics Essential to Ownership

What qualities or character traits does an Owner (Dominant/Partner) need to have in order to gain your consent to serve? Name at least three of these qualities and explain why you feel they are important.

1) My owner must want to be my owner.  It would not be something I would want for my partner to simply dominate because I want it or to just appease me.  She would need to genuinely enjoy it.  I have read comments on other web sites that even if your spouse is not all that interested in being a dominant you can be a sub in many subtle ways on your own with service but service to me is not interesting or desirable when the recipient is not interested in receiving it.  If my wife were not interested in BDSM I would still enjoy being a vanilla husband but there would be no submissive feeling about it for me.

2) My owner must be careful not to violate safety concerns, safe words, or limits we discuss.  This is another reason for #1 as someone not caring much about BDSM either way might not pay that much attention to safety concerns or limits.  Also, this is about respecting not only the potential dangers of BDSM but also respecting each other as human beings.

3) My owner must care about her enjoyment as well as my enjoyment, not just one or the other.  This again goes back to #1.

4) My owner must be communicative when issues arise and also just to talk in general about what is going on.  As a sub it can be difficult for me to convey my feelings but with a relationship of open communication that helps break those barriers.

May 24, 2012 — Nine days ended

Following up on my previous post about chastity without a device, the experience was not the same to me as with a device on.  I did not feel particularly different but once the 9 days ended I made up for lost time 3 times within the next 3 days.

Not much else to post here, though.  My work/career has been impinging on BDSM to some degree and it has even been difficult lately for me to even work on the next fictional story up until today.

I came up with an idea for a fictional story about a female-dominated society in which all males are slaves (not an original concept for a story, of course) but it was too impersonal of a story for me as I like to focus on individual feelings.  I then started writing a story about a female dominant who owns a whole bunch of male slaves and treats them horribly but again not personal enough from a sub’s point of view.

I have come up with what I think will be a good story, much more personal and fitting for what I usually focus on but going with a topic which has been in many of my fantasies but for some reason none of my stories as of yet:  blackmail.  Is it consensual if you do something “willingly” because you would rather avoid the consequences of disobedience?  Not really but I’m still going to label the story “reluctant” because my male protagonist can escape any time he wants (but he won’t want to).

May 16, 2012 – Male chastity … without a device

In blog posts from a week or two ago I discussed my experiences with a new metal male chastity device.  Mixed, although there was definitely some positive which I went into detail about (I still vividly remember the yearning!).  Here is a summary of the current negatives/barriers:

1) Ring would move down the shaft causing eventual discomfort – I think this may have been fixed with my wife’s second belt creation looped inside the ring to hold it close to my waist, this worked for a day and night so it might be good;

2) Some chafing on the tender skin of the underside of my package – not sure what to do about this, maybe a soft very thin cloth could buffer between the ring and the skin;

3) (Biggest issue) With the belt on (#1 above) the cage sticks too far out when I wear my pants so, by my wife’s decision, I can’t go to work with it on (the device, not the pants!) – my wife and I will try to think about this, maybe the belt could loop through the cage portion to pull it closer to my body so that when I put pants and a girdle on the cage won’t stick out (?)

In any case, we are on a hiatus from using the device.  I am open to whatever my wife wants to do whether that is a long term hiatus or trying something new with the device.  It would be tough to just forget about it entirely based upon the strong emotions the device helped promote that one Saturday before the device became physically uncomfortable due to gravity.

What my wife has decided is to try something new which is male chastity without a device.  We are not abstaining and there is a good amount of attention (much more so than if a device were on!) but there is no completion, if you catch my drift.  Seven days is, if I recall correctly, the longest I have ever gone in the past 20+ years and today is the seventh day.  I am not allowed to touch myself there at all (except for incidental like cleaning).

I believe that on a previous blog post I mentioned that my wife decided that we would be doing something for a full upcoming weekend, something which is not typically what I would enjoy (okay, that’s very much putting it mildly lol).  She didn’t ask me, she told me.  Will I become unintentionally grumpy as usual during this sort of thing?  Damn I hope not.  That weekend begins in 2 days and I am told that I will need to wait until then, Friday night.  Or, to be more precise, I will need to wait until at least then.

You can bet your bottom dollar that I will be a good boy.  Or at least try with all my ability.

That would be nine days.  Not much at all for you male chastity veterans who may be reading this and probably scoffing at my whining lol.  “You ain’t seen nothing yet!”, they would probably say.

I don’t know if male chastity without a device is significantly different from it with a device but I’m fine and not whining.  Or not whining much anyway, except when my wife plays those tease games on me! … which I might add she has read recently on a web site someone had to send to her (that’d be me).

Actually, it warms my heart when my wife learns something new from the interwebs because if she learns it from me then who’s in charge?  We talk a lot about BDSM regardless of that strange issue but it’s still a whole lot more fun for both of us for her to learn and decide something on her own.  It’s all good!

May 13, 2012 — First pedicure and second time in subspace

No, not at the same time.  Although that would be interesting, going into subpace moaning and giggling while in a room with a bunch of women doing their jobs.

A sub friend of mine from FetLife recommended that I get a pedicure with my wife.  Since I have a fetish for my wife’s feet and also love attention to my own feet this is something I should have done with my wife a long time ago but the thought of sharp objects and nail files next to my tender feet didn’t seem appealing.  But my wife told me about the massage of the feet and calves and so we went.

It was good, although I was a bit self-concious about having a crowded salon of women around me.  It wasn’t erotic (my wife brought me a magazine for my lap just in case but I didn’t need it) although it did feel good and several times during the long foot and leg massage I wanted to moan in pleasure.  Fortunately, I didn’t do that.  The sharp objects weren’t a problem and there was not much embarrassment even though a couple of the other ladies in the salon made comments to my wife and me such as he’s going to want to come back now that he knows our secret.

When I got home I took off my shoes and socks and my feet feel as smooth as they have ever felt while my toes do seem quite taken care of.  It was a good experience.

Last night my wife put me in a fairly tight hogtie (I was naked, of course) on the bed so that I was on my stomach and couldn’t move much and when she put her hand on me I couldn’t move at all.  She put 4 electrodes on my thighs and buttocks and pulsed the electricity to where it was painful 2 seconds on and 2 seconds off.  With each pulse I groaned in pain.  Then she used the Neon Wand all over my body … slowly.

I couldn’t squirm away, much as I tried to.  The pain was not severe but it was definitely not mild.  I only fully screamed a few times but I was continually yelling into the bed sheet and just trying to withstand the pain.  My feet (pre-pedicure) seemed to be an easy target sticking up in the air and that hurt a lot, my lower back where it seemed like she was writing very very slowly was in a lot of skin pain as were my sides, my butt, my legs, all over the back and sides of my body.  All of this while the electrodes were pulsing an already moderate amount of pain.

I begged, of course, trying everything I could think of including I love you’s, please it hurts too much, I’ve had enough I can’t take any more pain, but it had no effect.  For those who haven’t read my blog before, I meant every word of my begging too, I don’t act (we use a safe word, if needed).

I was yelling in pain continually for 10-15 minutes.  Even after a few minutes I didn’t think I could take much more but I hung on.  I am not a pain slut and don’t usually enjoy pain for its own sake.  I love the power exchange and the victimization.  I crave it.

Anyway, my wife released the hogtie and my ankles but not my wrists from behind my back so I knew there was more.  She whacked my butt several times with our new hard wooden paddle and I think several times with the crop.  Then I may have this out of sequence but the belt was used a whole bunch of times on my upper back.  I couldn’t move an inch and just had to take that horrible smack over and over and over, feeling like a completely whipped slave.  Please make it stop!  I was way past crying.

Then my hands were released and I thought the scene was over but my wife wanted more.  She had me lie on my back at the edge of the bed and had me hold my legs in the air above me.  She then used the strap-on.

She has used the strap-on on me several times before and it has been rather mild, probably because the dildo is not particularly big, but this time she must have hit a spot (p spot??) because I was really feeling the pleasure.  And then she used her hands on me at the same time in different ways including caressing and spanking and I was in orbit.  My gosh did that feel good, uncontrollably good.

She stopped just short of an ending (so it turned out to be a tease and denial session — who needs a chastity device?) but it was still like heaven and I was moaning and floaty in subspace for the second time in my life.  The first time is in my blog here:  http://www.assdisc.com/blog/?p=90.  When we were done I was laughing without any reason and I felt drunk, barely able to walk.

On a separate topic, one other thing I would like to mention is somewhat embarrassing.  My wife and I do not have any sort of age play but she has signed us up for a parental web site in which chores are doled out and kept track of.  She adds chores and I need to mark down when I am done with each.  Here is the site:  https://www.doughmain.com.  It makes me feel controlled and rather foolish having to pretend to be a kid who needs a bunch of chores given to me and I’m humiliated to even be typing it here.  In other words, I love it.

May 8, 2012 – Male chastity road block and a new paddle

My wife and I haven’t had many steps backward in our journey but early this morning (2:00am) was one.  Not an overall step backward at all, just one avenue which seemed to put a road block causing a bit of a detour.

With my wife locking me up in a chastity device this past weekend we had a lot of enjoyment and the yearning I felt was beyond anything I had ever felt before.  I yearned for my wife bigtime on Saturday, detailed on earlier entries of this blog, and she and I both loved that.  Well, I had mixed feelings but it’s the same “mixed” feelings I have when I am being victimized in other ways so it’s not mixed at all and is actually all good.

But there were also negatives because my wife likes to play, touch, and torture me there and also she likes to see my positive reactions in her presence (it often takes just a few words from her).  So despite our joy on Saturday it was still a mixed experience.

On Sunday the device became somewhat uncomfortable.  As I learned from asking on FetLife, the ring is too big for me and this is why the entire device moved halfway down the shaft and away from my body due to the pull of gravity and pulled my package along with it, causing some slight discomfort for me.  This countered the increased yearning I had with the discomfort considerations.  We had a very happy ending, though, so I believe that the experience was overall a good one for both of us and we were eager for more (or I was mixed but … you know what I mean).

Yesterday late afternoon after I got home from work my wife told me to get back in the device and she looped a makeshift belt through the ring and around my waist.  This seemed to work well all night, though since it was less than a day removed from a happy ending I did not have increased yearning and we still had the issue of my wife not having access to me in that location.  It was fine, though, not a problem in particular.

At 2:00am this morning, though, I woke up and there was slight skin pain on the underside of my package due to the belt no longer holding the ring in place and the ring had slid down my shaft again.  I knew that I could not sleep any more with that pain so we agreed to remove the device altogether.  Unfortunately, neither of us slept much the rest of the night (and I don’t mean that in a good way).

Sleeplessness is probably not a big deal for most people but for me it is.  Spending a day as a zombie may seem like fun in a role-playing video game setting but for me in real life it’s a big negative, even just for one day.  I don’t mind skipping an hour or so of sleep for several nights due to getting used to a device but zombieness  from almost no sleep is beyond my limits.

The probable fix for this is to get a smaller ring, although I don’t know that I could get myself in a smaller ring.  I will look into getting a smaller ring.  However, with the already mixed views my wife has on male chastity to begin with, we are not willing to spend anything more than a small amount of money.

In any case, hope is not dead (zombies do have some life) but it was a step backward.

Did I mention that we have a new paddle?  Yes I think I have.  Oh my gosh is that great, we both love it.  In the past week I don’t think I have cried this much ever in my life!

It’s funny how pain in other locations makes me scream and thrash around while pain in my butt seems to make me scream, then after more blows I accept the pain because I have no choice and my body relaxes, and then I cry from not only the pain but from being so terribly victimized.  Then my wife makes fun of me while I cry.  Seems like a scene in one of my fictional stories!

May 6, 2012 — Male chastity second night

So if I throw medium weight objects across the room in anger from being in a damn chastity device, is that supposed to happen?

I have been denied orgasm since Monday and then Friday afternoon was put into a metal chastity device, it is now Sunday morning.  Only a day and a half, no big deal, right?  Wrong.

I was joking about the throwing objects.  In my fictional story Male Chastity Device the unwilling guy starts having new anger issues but I’m not a character in a story and I’m not feeling anything like that.  There is no anger damn it!  lol  Really, none.

I’m feeling a need … no, I can’t call it a need because that might mean I would die if I don’t get it.  It is more than a want, though.

I have a very deep yearning.  I yearn!

One of my concerns about chastity is that it might cause sleep issues and that is a big potential red flag for me because of the negative effect that would have on my life (my wife agrees with this).  I understand that it could take weeks to get used to having night time erections blocked and considering the so-far great aspects of this experience I’m willing to go through some difficult sleep issues as long as I don’t have a terrible sleep night when I have to work the next day.  Last night I woke up at 2:30am and due to pushing against the cage for an hour off and on could not fall back asleep until 3:30 or so.  That’s not too bad, and since it’s Sunday it’s not a problem, if I had to work today I could.

Then when I woke up again at 6:30 or so I wanted … yearned … to reach over to my wife but she was still asleep so I didn’t.  I wanted to be a good boy.  I stayed in bed awake for another hour just waiting for her because I yearned.  Would my patience be rewarded?  Once she woke up I did everything I could for her to accept my advances including the insidious ploy to not ask for sex with my words in any way.  I rubbed, kissed, snuggled, proclaimed my love, etc.

To no avail. 🙁

My wife loves this new power she has over me and she really loves that I yearn for her.  I am generally hot for my wife anyway although as most guys who are not in their 20s or 30s know after orgasm (without chastity ahead of time) there’s a day or two of let’s just say diminished interest.  I have never yearned for her as much as I yearn now, except maybe equal to between times of seeing each other on weekends in our long distance relationship before we were married.  Back then, though, I knew when my lust would be satiated.  Now, I don’t know when!

My wife told me that if I was good today then maybe I would be released tonight.  Maybe.

When she said maybe tonight that gave me the clear message that this morning was not happening.  So I modified my tactics of not asking with my words.

I begged.  I begged and begged and begged.  Damn.  Nothing.  She knows that there wasn’t a bit of role-playing in my begging, yearning, or anything else.  Any power exchange is much more enjoyable and real for me when there’s no role-playing involved.

My wife has told me that she does not in the least mind my begging and she won’t punish me for it (as I have seen other wives do if they don’t want to hear all of the nagging).  I guess I’m thankful for that, but it’s not getting me anywhere.

Sigh.

It’s all good.  It’s all good.  It’s all good.  In all seriousness, it is all good.

I will add more to this post later today or tonight.

Early afternoon update:  My wife was out of the house with a friend and I literally forgot I was wearing a device for most of the time, except when I had to get up off the couch and away from the PC.  Even if I didn’t have a device on I would not want to masturbate (well, I guess I would want to … and maybe I would but I wouldn’t orgasm I promise!) because it makes closeness with my wife much less enjoyable so I almost never orgasm except inside of her.  So when she is gone there isn’t any thought of sex (well, unless I browse certain sites).  Now that she is back the device is very much in play, even though she is not in the room with me.

Anyway.  When she returned from being out my wife told me that we are going out to dinner with her friend and her husband.  She didn’t call me to ask me and she didn’t tell her friend “Let me ask Ted and I will get back to you.”  She told me.  She never would have done that months ago before she become dominant to me.

Good for her!  I am going to compliment her for taking from me what she wants.  That is what I am here for!  Thank you, sweetie!

I will update this post again later today or tonight.

Evening update:  Freedom!!  Except…

My wife walked up to me and with a loving look in her eyes put my face between her hands and told me that I was a very good slave this weekend.  She then led me into the bedroom and … unlocked the chastity device!

As we got into bed together and she was touching me she said “You don’t think you’re getting sex tonight, do you?”  Needless to say, I was aghast and clasped my hands together in begging and I did beg.  She continued “I am just teasing you” which she continued to do.  It felt amazingly great so I was thankful for that at least though my hands stayed clasped in begging.

This couldn’t be happening.  I couldn’t go back in the cage.  …And I didn’t.  My wife ended our first session with a chastity device to a very happy ending for both of us.  (Sweetie, I tried not to get too detailed but couldn’t help but have some detail).

I would call it a very successful first venture for both of us.  My wife really seemed to enjoy the control and could really be ruthless.  She told me that she had planned for it to come off tonight but she thought about making me wait longer, or much longer, but this was our first time.

On a mechanical note, the 2″ ring we have is apparently a bit too large.  It was not easy for me to get into so I don’t know what smaller size would be right but over time the cage and ring were both pulled down the shaft by gravity and away from my body.  Most of today half of my shaft was not even within the ring at all as the ring was a couple of inches away from my body.  This meant that I did not fill out the cage which was not good and also my balls were being stretched which became somewhat uncomfortable, not good for longer term use (I don’t know if I could have worn it to work tomorrow).

We might try saran wrap or duct tape in the ring to get it to fit tighter.

Thanks for reading!  If you have any comments feel free to post here or message me on FetLife at Ted_subby.

May 5, 2012 — Male chastity first night

Our new and first metal device finally arrived a couple of days ago.  I tried it on May 3rd evening for a few hours (while holding onto the key myself) just to make sure it’s comfortable enough to wear for a decent amount of time and it works well.  http://www.wholesalebdsm.com/ProductsView.asp?id=502 is the model we chose, very low price.  Jail House.

This is our first metal device so I’m not really qualified to give a review other than to say it works as advertised so far with no real problems.  There are two tiny posts on the cage portion which insert into the ring portion (in addition to the one main large post) and those tiny posts can easily pinch my scrotum very painfully if I’m not careful.  Due to that, I need to spend an extra minute or two to get it on and my wife can’t put it on me at all as she would not know when it is pinching, and the pinching would not go away just once the device is on if not put on properly (so I put a small piece of cloth between those posts and my skin just in case).  That I have to put it on myself is a negative but I don’t think it’s that unusual from what I have read, when my wife tells me to put it on you can bet your house that I’ll put it on.

That first night for a few hours my wife didn’t like it being on me as 1) she could not play with her toy (i.e. slap it around!) and it seemed more like protection from her than a chastity device, 2) she could not see the spontaneous erections she causes in me frequently, and 3) I spoon her in bed every night and feeling a metal cage against her back would be much less enjoyable for her.  I agreed with her on all of those.  She tells me that I am already very attentive, worshipful, etc. and chastity probably couldn’t really make me even more so which means that one of the advantages of chastity might not apply.

But that night she was not in control so there were no real positives at all.  Last night (Friday night) the plan was for me to finish something at home I had to take care of and then put the device on at least for the rest of the evening, sleep with it on, go to lunch with my wife today, and then hand her the keys assuming I was still comfortable in the device.

When I got home from work yesterday change in plans.  My wife’s attitude was very different and she commanded me to put on the device so I did.  She told me that to try this out she needs to own it.  Later she told me that she was proud of me for not trying to talk her out of the change in plans so I had a feel-good moment of being a good boy.

Last night we went for a 1-mile walk and to my surprise and delight the device did not cause any problems at all.  It is not noticeable under my pants which was by far my biggest concern.  I believe that I can wear it to work if I had to.  After the walk I was told to assume my usual position at her bare feet (wow do I love that) and that’s where the cage entered the picture.  My wife laughed at the cage’s obvious effect on my not-able-to-become-an-erection as I was straining against the cage.  It was not uncomfortable in particular and not painful at all.

And then last night I slept with it on and woke up about 90 minutes earlier than usual with a very strong hard on, blocked by the cage.  My wife has pushed me out of her just before my climax (her form of male chastity and control) this week and I have been due since Monday, overdue by about a day.  And the way she has been using the newly purchased hard wooden paddle on me every night this week as I’m tied down has really made me overdue.

This morning I was hard against the cage for an hour.  I wanted so badly to reach over and caress my wife and then beg for sex but I didn’t want to wake her and I knew that it would be futile.

So now I am in true denial and it feels strange.  I feel like I would do anything for her but here’s the problem, I feel like that almost 24/7 anyway.  So how is the submission I am feeling now any different from usual?

So now I have three forces making me want to submit to her 1) I love her and she is my wife, 2) I have a need to submit to her, and 3) I want to be a good boy as much as possible so I can finally get this damn thing off me and get myself in her!  All 3 are very strong at the moment.

When she wakes up soon I’m going to try getting on my knees.  It won’t work, though.  She told me that tonight maybe if I am good all day today.  I will be good, very good.

More to follow today (below).

Evening update:  Begging didn’t work, of course.  My wife told me that I was a very good boy today despite a tiny hiccup or two but I am not getting release tonight.  7 days is the longest I have gone without an orgasm in dozens of years and that has only been a few times of that length.  It has now been only 5 days which is actually only a day or two over normal but my wife and I have been extra close this week plus I’ve been in a device for 24 hours and I am jones-ing.

My wife and I have been talking about this experience of male chastity today and she feels very comfortable having control.  We confirmed and she is comfortable that unless I say the safe word (which I would only do if there was damage or pain etc.), she decides.  If I give her some song and dance as is my usual, trying to logic my way into something, it won’t break the game and she will fully decide.

Once we clarified that I begged.  A lot.  I have never wanted her sexually as much as I do now and it almost hurts.  Not hurts at all, just, I want it.

But I can’t have it.

Moving on.  One of my big worries about having a device on is that it would train my groin not to grow.  Why grow when the erection will just be stopped in its tracks?  Well, so far the opposite is true, I have been trying to grow over a dozen times today, maybe a couple of dozen.

Ok, time to stop this post altogether (until my next post), it’s becoming a complain fest.  Note:  I really do enjoy the control she has but I want want want!!!

May 1, 2012 – A note to my dominant wife

Hi sweetie,

We communicate frequently about these issues and I figured I would put this into writing also just for clarification.

I sometimes speak in circles that I enjoy something, I don’t like it, I like it … WTF?  Why do I talk in circles?!

I think it might be helpful to think of me at times as being two people:

1) Ted_subby – the real me – has loved you dearly for over a dozen years since the first time I lay my head on your shoulder that first time.  In BDSM terms, I truly love everything you have done to me, everything you could do to me, and everything you have me do (within the limits we have agreed upon) including service, pain, servicing, and everything else, even when I hated it (see #2 below).  It makes me feel good when we talk not during a scene about how much we enjoyed specific activities and I have always told you that I love it because you have not gone past any limits.  The specific activities don’t particularly matter and as you know, I particularly love the feeling of being owned, victimized, and controlled, the more the merrier so in that way some activities are more successful at that than others (for example, tapping me on the butt once has much less effect than whacking my back with the belt).

There is no confusion or uncertainty and I am not talking in circles.  I love every moment of it and everything below is just for some additional insight.

2) A sort of role-playing Ted who does not like submission, torture, or any of that BDSM stuff.  He just wants to live a quiet life but you keep victimizing him and ordering him around (!).  He internally whines and he cries about injustice when he is being victimized.  How can you get away with hurting someone who loves you to death?!  It’s unfair waaaaa.  He has no choice but to take whatever you do to him because he couldn’t conceive of a life without you (neither could Ted_subby!).

I enjoy being Ted (#2) — I feel owned, victimized, and/or controlled.  When your crop whacks my butt or you apply any other torture to me it legitimately hurts and Ted sincerely yells, screams, cries bitter tears, begs earnestly, and is just horribly miserable and terrified.  It’s natural to feel this way when being tortured and I am not acting, that’s me (Ted #2) feeling horribly victimized.  As I am being tortured Ted wants it to end as quickly as possible so if you ask me “Do you want me to stop?” my answer would be “Hell yeah!” or “Please I swear I will do anything please!” and I (Ted #2) will mean it with all of my heart.  I never pretend to be screaming or crying, it’s all real.

But Ted_subby the real me absolutely loves being horribly victimized by you, whether through torture, humiliation, being ordered around, or whatever is your whim.  It really doesn’t even matter the specific activity (within the limits).  Ted_subby is present when I am being tortured or ordered around but he doesn’t speak (unless we are taken out of the scene) and he just savors the feelings and emotions.  Ted_subby wants it – whatever it is – to continue to your heart’s content despite the pain, suffering, discomfort, inconvenience, or anything else.

You know how if one of us asks the other if they would like to do something specific we can not only listen to the answers but also read body language to determine how much interest there is?  So when you ask if I would like to go to a specific restaurant, if I’m not sure you can quickly read that in my body language?

That can get confusing with our BDSM play.  When you tell me to get my bitch ass in the bedroom Ted #2 immediately reacts with whatever negative vibes he can give you, maybe subtle manipulations or indications on why he shouldn’t be tortured such as “So we’re just going to be touching softly, right?”  This might be interpreted as a subtle indication that I do not want to play and, although, you pick up on that and do not interpret it that way I just want to be clear with the following statement.

There are never any times when I do not want to play if you want to play, except during sleep or when there is another commitment (such as my commitment to go to work).  Every single bit of vibe I might send that I don’t want to play is never ever the truth.

You know all of this already but I figured it might be helpful to see it in typing.

The above is about “suffering” which is one of the three s’s in submission for me, as I wrote about in a recent blog post http://www.assdisc.com/blog/?p=115.

For “servicing” (sensual/sexual activities such as when I massage you) both Ted_subby and Ted enjoy that, there is no “being ordered around” about that, it’s all great so the dual personality issue doesn’t really apply.  I don’t have any “role-playing” or anything else with that!

For “service” (chores or other non-sensual activities) I don’t think the dual personality applies there, either.  My three s’s in submission blog post goes over my feelings about that.

Ted_subby is the real me and his opinion is the only one of mine which counts.  If you ever have a doubt as to which Ted is talking at any given moment, call me by my real name or honey or whatever (instead of slave or instead of just no name) and I will make every effort not to talk in circles and I will talk from my heart, from Ted_subby.

I love you,

-Bluebonnet1’s Ted_subby